The Ten London Transport Commandments

See them, read them, understand them and apply them to your everyday lives. Particularly if you travel in London.

1) Thou shalt walk whenever possible, but always from Charing Cross to Embankment.

2) Thou shalt have thine Oyster Card in thine hand when thou reachest the ticket barriers, and not stand there, rummaging through thine bag for five minutes, like a tool.

3) Thou shalt not consume fragrant foodstuffs or alcohol, unless thou art a vagrant.

4) Thou shalt attend to personal hygiene. In particular, if thou hast been wassailing heartily the night before, thou shalt take special care to brush thine teeth in the morning.

5) Thou shalt talk quietly, or not at all, on thine mobile phone when on the bus – nobody else wants to hear who Emma did last night or how much Liam spent on his sodding shoes. Furthermore, thou shalt endeavour to stop those who wish to share their choice of music on loudspeaker, even though thou
risketh being stabbed till thou art dead.

6) Thou shalt not whistle.

7) Thou shalt not press the “open” button on tube doors as this is the mark of the tourist.

8) Thou shalt not duck, dive or bomb. And though shalt most certainly not heavy pet.

9) If thou art not sure how to get off an escalator, or where to stand, thou shalt not get on it.

10) Thou shalt not wear darke glasses underground. Ye nobs.

With thanks to Fridaycities. (If anyone would like an invite to the site, hit me up via email or homunculus and I shall be as obliging as I am able).

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Posted on 20 March, 2007, in Generalities and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Some people might like to get a train to work
    Or drive in in a Beemer or a Merc…

    😉

  2. Some guys like to travel in by bus,
    But I can’t be bothered with the fuss today
    I’m going to take my bike 🙂

    [audio src="http://www.union.ic.ac.uk/medic/fitness/tracks/London%20Underground.mp3" /]
    http://www.backingblair.co.uk/london%5Funderground/ – flash animation

  3. hehehe. I like commandment # 2- the “thou shalt have thy ticket- not rummage for five minutes like a tool” one. 🙂

  4. If you’ve ever been trapped at a barrier, knowing your tube is pulling in while someone rummages for their ticket or card, you’ll appreciate that one 🙂

  5. Haha really funny. I like the commandments. I liked commandment #8 best. Thou shalt not bomb. LOL.

  6. :))) nice commandments

  7. I have never been to london, 😛
    But I think these can be of help…. If I m lucky enough I may relocate to london….And then I will keep all your comments in mind ..especially the 5th one. 🙂

  8. They could be used in the Copenhagen Metro as well…

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