Oh god, I can’t breathe:

Like most things that are worth owning, Computers are an American invention. Look at any modern computer and you will see that the whole thing is the product of American brilliance.

For example, this rugged IBM laptop I am using was designed and built by an American company. It runs software built by Microsoft, one of America’s most productive organizations. My computer does everything I could possibly want: I can do my work, submit my taxes and even search the Bible.

Like all the greatest American engineering, it’s an example of innovation that makes a growing group of European and Chinese hackers jealous. They hate our lead in computing technology and will stop at nothing until they have control of all of our computers.

I’m talking about a project called ‘Linux’, something you may not have encountered, but might do some day.
It’s a computer program that was initially developed in Finland as a means of circumventing valuable copyrights and patents owned by an American company called SCO Group.


There is just so much wrong with this that I may need a pad of paper the size of the Encyclopedia Brittanica (large print edition) just to properly rebut this.  I could post links and more links with writings which will show how very, erm, misguided this individual is, but quite frankly there aren’t enough days in the year.

So I’ll leave you with a couple more paragraphs:

If you see a company using Linux, it may be that they have not paid for this software. Report them to the Business Software Alliance who have the legal authority to inspect any company’s computers for illegal programs like Linux.


And guess what software Osama Bin Laden uses on his laptop?

If you guessed it was Linux you would be 100% right. Osama uses Linux because he knows designed to counterfit DVDs, curcumventing the Digital Millenium Copyright Act, and defraud companies like Disney.

Next time somebody asks you how Al Queda agents pay for their rifles and rocket launchers, you can tell them that foreign hackers make software called Linux which helps them steal from Americans.

If you decide to comment on the blog, please be nice.  This may be a parody of the old “Is Your Son A Computer Hacker?” Article.

Especially frightening is the fact that this was written on April 20th 2006.  I despair sometimes.  And then I remember that these people may well not be able to sit the right way on the toilet and I laugh.

Having written this, I thought maybe it was a joke or an attempt to get page rankings.  But on looking at the rest of the site, it seems genuine.


Posted on 28 April, 2006, in Open Source, Stupidities. Bookmark the permalink. 17 Comments.

  1. heh – that’s a good one 🙂

    By itself, the article could *just about* scrape into a “Serious-but-clueless author” in my book – but the comments the author left below have moved it into the “Somebody’s having a laugh” category.

    “Linux has no built-in anti-virus or anti-spyware software.

    You cannot even buy popular utilities like Norton Security to compensate for this fact. There are no tools for common tasks like defragging a hard disk.”

    Like “Is your son”, this person knows too much about Linux to be as clueless as he seems – I reckon somebody wanted to see if STR would publish utter drivel so long as it had the right bias, and has now found out that the answer is “Yep!”

    I could be wrong tho..

  2. Exactly. It is very entertaining, but a little “several years ago”

  3. She closed the comments. Big surprise.

    I sure hope that was a wind-up, but I have a feeling it’s not.

  4. wow. this just makes me sad that there are people like this in the world today. Makes me glad I don’t live in America. Sad though.

  5. On reading the rest of the blog (for read: read “scan”), I can’t tell if it’s genuine or a parody. This person is either very clever or incredibly misguided.

    If the site isn’t a parody, it just goes to show that the internet is a home for all sorts of people. Unfortunately, the noisier and more out there pages tend to get more hits. Hopefully, thr author’s rage will make them self combust 🙂

  6. Well, if it isn’t a parody, just the domain alone tells you the authors intelligence level.. I mean, come on, she’s apparently a Bush loving Republican. And remember boys and girls, Republicans are not true Americans, they are really aliens from outer space that are here to consume all natural resources, money and wealth by destroying our planet and killing human kind.. You might remember them from such movies called “Independence Day”.. 😉

  7. I was considering posting about this.. Glad I didn’t! 😀

    It was definitely a laugh – and some of the comments were even better! Either ‘Shelley’ is completely clueless, has some serious issues, or she did it for hits. I’m convinced it’s the latter..

    But it’s way too funny to pass by – and if she actually does believe in what she writes, that just makes it more hilarious 😛

    // Ray – unSpawn kindly replied with a few answers. I posted them this morning 🙂

  8. I saw Unspawn's response. Should kick off an interesting response.

    In a way, I feel sorry for the Republicans: that these are their supporters. And then I remember, they encourage these people and I think "tough".

  9. Yeah – I’m just surprised someone can be so misinformed 😮 Surely this casts an even worse light on the Republicans, because they have a group of idiots supporting them? 😛

    And as a little joke.. type ‘failure’ into Google and hit the I’m Feeling Lucky button. Gotta love Google bombing 😀 (Do the standard search for failure after this – there’s quite an entertaining list there 🙂 )

  10. heheh – ol’ Georgie has a few searches like this as I recall 🙂

    Personally, if it weren’t for the vocality and loyalty of the Republican base, I’d disown the vast majority of them. If I were a Republican. And American.

  11. This is definitely a spoof. Something like this was written a while back and it was confirmed to be a spoof.

  12. Shame. It seems to have been a great way to catch people though, judging by the comments…

  13. I only mentioned that it appeared most likely to be a spoof. Sorry if I gave the impression that I knew that this *particular* essay was a spoof. I can’t be 100% sure of that. But do you have any recollection of seeing a link at LQ.org some time back about an article very similar to this one and it was confirmed to be a spoof?

  14. A similar one was the “Is Your Son A Hacker” and there were a few similar. This looks as though it was hacked together from those types of article.

    In a way, I hope it is real. 🙂

  15. Bloody hell! Somebody hacked it [http://shelleytherepublican.com]! And it’s all your fault (oh, the guilt) with all that sarcastic laughter.
    Well, it’s a shamefull act…
    coz it was so funny.

    The pirates aren’t very original though…

  16. Pirates usually aren’t…..

  17. very nice blog thank you guys for sharing with us!

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